AllyIsLost

my mom was an alcoholic, she has since recovered. she drank when i was aged 7 through 9. this was a difficult time for me. and has through out my life, i have had problems with self-esteem, confidence, self mutational, and have attempted suicide. all of these problems where due to the time when my mom was drinking, and yes there were other issues involved, but i believe if my mom wasn't an alcoholic than i wouldn't have gone through the things i've gone through

as i said i'm now 16, and i'm getting to the age where everyone around me starts drinking. because of this i have just realised how much alcohol scares me, i don't like friends, family members, or loved ones in general drinking it. when i think about it i get panicky. this is causing alot of problems in my relationships with friends and particularly my cousin [we are really close]. she's 20 and acts like any 'normal' 20 year old would, she goes clubbing and drinks, i feel shakey, panicky and ill to the stomach at the thought of her doing this

i've talked to her about it, but there's no compromise, ideally I'd like her to stop drinking, but i would never ask or except her to do that

our family don't talk about the time when my mom used to drink. i haven't talked to anyone about it either

my question is, how do i get over this fear? i can't let alcohol ruin my relationship with my cousin

thanks for reading

there's probably a billion threads like this going around, so, sorry