Glad you are going to Alanon! I think it will help you immensely. Work the program for YOU. So you can become a stronger healthier person.
He is going to do what he does. You have no control over that. But you don't have to be miserable because of his choices. His choices don't have to ruin YOUR life.
regarding this:
I have tried to end it. Who would want to sign on to a life like this? But he is hands-down the most articulate debater on the planet.
There's no point debating with an addict. Just say your piece and go. When he opens up his mouth to debate, just picture the sound "Blah blah blah" coming out of his mouth.
Because that's all it is.
Blah blah blah.
It's meaningless manipulative blather designed to confuse you and guilt you and convince you to stay.
It's YOUR choice.