Welcome Shakes!
Good for you for recognizing your problem....
I know how you feel about the word "alcoholic" - most of us have trouble with it. In reality, there are stages of alcoholism. It's only the end-stage that we usually think of.
When I decided to stop, I hadn't yet had the usual consequences, but I knew drinking was an obsession/compulsion for me. I'd have a miserable morning and be drinking again that night, which is pretty crazy. I thought a LOT about stopping.... come to find out that social drinkers don't do that. They can just walk away.
Glad you're taking a look at this now and reaching out. Support is so important and you'll find a lot of that here.
