Thank you everyone. I do feel very alone. I think that is what really made the decision for me to ask him to leave. Labor Day weekend although he was in the house he was down for the count going through withdrawal from not having any percs or suboxen available. Needless to say I was alone but not physically alone. As I sat out by the pool and wrote in the journal I experienced such loneliness. I thought to myself what am I doing in this relationship? Why am I allowing this man to live in our home? What kind of example am I setting for my children, for my daughter...that it is ok to let a man treat her this way. Last night he starts with his don't you miss me don't you miss my touch you don't love me crap. That is exactly what it is crap. I am so frustrated that he will not get help. It literally drives me crazy.
@ lovestoomuch - I appreciate your honesty as harsh sounding as it may be it is the truth and I respect the truth. The truth is not something I have heard in the 19 years of marriage. It is hard to see him move from motel to motel. I think it would be easier if he would just go to his mother's house. I don't think she really wants him there. She is a recovering alcoholic herself. His sister who lives there with her baby is also a recovering alcoholic/addict. His other sister who lives on her own is married to a crack addict. This is the part that I feel so sad about. I feel sad he has no support or place to go in his own dysfunctional family. His mother calls him everyday but never says come here. She never sees or checks in on her grandchildren (my children). Regardless of her feelings for me (you know the crazy lunatic wife of her son who doesn't want to put up with his bs anymore but not what he tells her tells her I am being mean to him) she could call their cell phones directly, check in on them. But no. Ugh! This is just so consuming.
Does anyone know if Joyce Meyer has any books on addiction?