Manipulative brother
I hope this section is okay; i wasn't sure where to put it. My brother (42) is giving my mom hell. He lives with her. She has always felt sorry for him, and he did attempt suicide at 18. He only has one lung because of the shotgun suicide attempt. He did beat the alcohol problem, but won't move out. He moved back in after his place was burglarized, and now he's sort of paranoid. It's questionable that he has a learning disablility, because i've seen him flip a switch when he wants something. He's develpoed this sort of ocd with routine, cleanliness, exercising. I think it may be because that's the only thing he can control. What's frustrating is that he rips up my mother, and me; the people who have done the most to help him. My mother tried for years to get him disability, and he got it. She also lets him deliver tires for her husband once a week for cash. He has this entitlement mentality that makes me nuts. It never seems to be good enough for him. I always find myself buttering him up to just get a conversation going, but he'll find a way to demean me. I've read about narcissism and he has all or most of the traits. All conversations are about him. If it doesn't go his way, you will get the silent treatment. He will not help my mother, but gets mad if i do. He tries to isolate her, by not wanting her to have company. He's just flat out mean. The family is looking for a place for him, but he's not showing interest. She's encouraging him to get independent. It's getting so tense when i go there, i feel like i want to slap him. Here's another thing, He only has part of one lung left and will not quit smoking. We've brought him to the hospital and he is a master at deflecting what the doctors have to say. I just don't know what i should do. I'm angry because i think it's affecting my mother's health, and she doesn't deserve to be treated like that after all she has done for him. Outsiders think it's a simple case of spoiled rotten. Because of his health issues, she will not put him out. I feel like our connection is almost gone, and i want to protect my mother. It's a big mess, and i don't know how it will end.