If you get between them and their bottom they will land on you. I hope you do make that Alanon meeting. I think it will hurt your son if your H continues to drink (and it is progressive) and make bad choices like drinking and driving. Let H feel the consequences. Don't bail him out . Don't drive him. Don't pay the lawyer. Stop helping him and who's problems do they become ? His. I enabled my XAH and now I know through Alanon how it possibly hurt him from feeling/hitting his bottom. This disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Try Alanon and educate yourself. I ran to jail to see mine every week too- and in hindsight I shouldn't have. I drove 30 miles both ways to sit and cry. He got out and was an angry drunk before long and blamed it all on the trooper, the judge and ME ! He lost his license and job. Get thee to Alanon ! I just came back from a wonderful meeting on letting God take over.