natamars

We've been together for 19 years. I've really been waiting for this day to come, waiting for the call. I'm just grateful that no one was hurt.

We have an 8-year-old son..if not for him I would have let his a$$ rot in jail for the weekend. I haven't decided what I'm going to do. I'm supporting him through the legal process because I have to think of our son first - he needs to be in his life and he needs to support him financially.

We've been arguing about this on and off for years. He has always functioned well - always worked full-time as well as doing a ton of things around the house. He's stopped before for periods due to 2 bad experiences. He drinks most days, but most nights it's 2 beers or so. I have begged him so many times to not drive if he's been drinking, so I have a tremendous amount of anger for both the DWI and all these other things that are coming out. So much of what I've read on this site resonates.

I have never seen him so scared in my life. He is usually a tough guy, but he aged 10 years that night in jail and day in court. He was terrified. We have a nice comfortable life in an affluent suburb - he's never seen anything like it. I have no sympathy for him at all, and he knows it.

Right now he wants nothing to do with alcohol, and I hope that continues. I realized this weekend how much time I was spending counting the bottles, the bottlecaps, listening for the clink, looking to see if he seemed drunk. Despite how scary this all is, in some ways I was more relaxed this weekend not feeling like I was on sentry duty. It took this to realize how sick my own behavior was. We got rid of all alcohol in the house, and all the empties. I can't stand the sight or smell of them. I used to drink wine at home on the weekends, but no more.

I've found an Al-Anon meeting in our area, and I'll be looking for lots of support online as well.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.