Hi FD! Welcome to SR!
I'm sorry if you feel that you have been ignored. Sometimes when you first arrive here, it helps to begin a new thread of your own just as you have done right here!!
I'm so glad you found us, but very sad to hear about what you have been going through. Please know that you are among people who understand.
One thing that I have learned from SR and from the meetings of Al-Anon/Nar-Anon is a concept called the 3C's:
We did not [B][I]cause[B][I] the addiction.
We cannot control the addict.
We cannot cure the addict.
If I were in your shoes, I would do everything in my power to protect my children from the influence of anyone in active addiction--even their own father.
I think you are correct in that his accusations are merely intended to make you feel bad, make you fall back into line, make you continue to support him in his addiction. Even if he does not continue to go to counseling, I hope you will consider continuing the process without him.
Huge hugs!
HG