MTUSA

I am seeking any advice on how to talk to (see, there it is "to" instead of "with") my son. He's 25, addicted to oxy's and has used heroin since he was 18. He's in jail (Idaho). Detoxed (arrested June 7) so probably was detoxed by end of June (Jail put him on Vicadin). I am not familiar personally with drugs (smoke marijuana twice when I was about 15-made me sick), rarely drink (mother was an alcoholic...).

Phases since arrest: Arrested, begging us (his parents) to bail him out of jail (we didn't) obviously detoxing.

Couple weeks later still detoxing I suspect: Nasty phone call from jail. His response to a letter I sent saying "look at your life...blah blah blah). Maybe not so smart of me?

End of July and into August (6-8 weeks after arrest, and physically detoxed): Admitting that he needed treatment (after detoxing).

Presently: Saying he does't need treatment.

He's a ping pong ball. I have read just about all I can on the mental and physical toll of drugs, and how they work.

I wish I could say something to him (jail phonecall) which would "make" (yup, I'm a control freak I guess...) him realize what a mess his life was on drugs before arrested, and that "NO" he cannot manage his life without help...

I spent years in co-dependency treatment/alanon. My mother was an alcoholic.

FYI: I have never paid for his drugs by giving him money or allowed him live in our home while he used drugs. He's always worked construction and paid for his habit. As a result, he's got nothing to show for years of hard work in the construction industry... because he gave it all to drug dealers.

I have read more "self-help" books than I care to count (since I was 21, and I'm 48). As a result, I didn't financially enable him. BUT, I have figured out one thing as a result. It seems to me, that MOST enablers, do FINANCIALLY control/support their addicts or alcholics. This actually gives them some control.

In my case, my son has no problem telling me to take a hike (not literally), because he hasn't relied on us (husband/his father) for years for financial support.

What I do have, are infrequent calls (about every 2-3 weeks from the jail). Last time he asked for a recipe for home made ice cream. Not a joke. (He's not violent, never been arrested before.)

Is there a way to speak with someone, and help them to see they need the tools only a treatment center can provide? (I know treatment is not magic, but he doesn't have the tools/lingo/understanding. He needs treatment, or he'll end up dead from drugs.)

I love my son...

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ANY ADVICE.