Part of the experience that made me aware of my loved one's addiction involved a very good friend of mine. He was drinking and she was starting to actively struggle with a mental illness at the same time.
The experience was crazy making for me, because I allowed it to be.
My exH has not found recovery, but my friend has. We are still in each other's life, but I have different boundaries with her now. Similar to those I learned with Al-Anon regarding detachment, taking care of self, etc.
Thinking of you.