Originally Posted by
haligh 
Really wish I didn't have to be here, but I do. And I'm scared. Scared to make this huge change to my life - scared to lose friends, scared to face the monotony of day to day life, scared that I'll fail.
I'm in my mid-40s and other than a 5 year break from ages 36-41 I have been drinking pretty heavily since my late teens. The amount I can consume is frightening and I blackout a lot and then make really dumb decisions. I tried (at the urging of a friend) to "get it under control" a couple months ago. I reduced my drinking from 3-4 nights a week to one night a week and was able to keep it at 4-5 drinks - until last Thursday when I went on a 7 hour bender which ended with me passed out in the bathtub with the water running. I woke up three hours later to a flooded bathroom and hallway. I guess I'm lucky I woke up at all.
Sigh.
I'm happy you are here posting and happy that you made it out of that bathtub alive. What helped me was working with my doctor and discussing a plan of action to get sober. For me that involved doctor supervision and daily attendance of AA meetings in addition to working the 12 steps of recovery.
Please make a appointment with your Doctor and get some help for this issue before it is too late.
Thanks again for your share and I hope that you are able to get the help you need.