Thank you so much for this post. It's really what I needed to read right now. I had to deal with a miserable interaction with AH late this week and it spilled over into last night but today I have had a great day with my girls and was struck while at the apple orchard with them just how at ease they were, I was, and how happy we all were bc AH wasn't there.
For years I felt so so so alone at work at the weeks end bc just like you I dreaded the weekend. Hated every second of it. Wasted precious years with my kids bc I was so stressed and upset and on edge and worried etc... bc of what life is like living with an A.
My AH didn't drink non stop all weekend. He pretended he wanted a family but he really wanted to be left alone and bc he wasn't left alone 100% of the weekend and left to do whatever he wanted (he wanted the house to himself and us gone) we all walked on eggshells and it was hellish.
It took me years to figure out why I hated the weekends so much. Afterall he wasn't falling down drunk, beating me, getting arrested etc... It was all passive and subtle and yet there was SO much anger and I was in fear and stressed all the time.
Things are so different with him gone and I look forward to many many years of looking forward to and enjoying my weekends.
This is such a great thread Lillamy! Thank you for creating the opportunity for me to be reminded of how nice it is to enjoy my weekends and I really am treasuring the good moments I now have with my kids..