Thanks artist :0)
Lilotto, I am not at all offended by your post, only reassured. It's addicts and former addicts who often have the most powerful and truthful posts regarding my situation.
He is certainly unaware of how his addictions effect us as a family.
He is rarely verbally abusive...largely because I avoid any REAL conversations that may provoke him. He is simply UNAVAILABLE...CHECKED OUT...ABSENT...A FLY ON THE WALL.
The sad thing is he thinks he's father of the year. Poor guy.
As for my future plans, I can say with honesty that I have no intentions of coming back. Once I'm done, I'm done. He will always be my girls' father, it's up to him to take care of himself so that he can be the father he once was, when he they were babies.
This may never happen and I'm ok with that.