thanks again to all of the replies.
you are right, there is no choice to even consider. i love my wife, and want to make our lives better.
i very much do want to at very least stop drinking for a month, then maybe two, maybe more. i need to prove to myself, and my wife, that i can do this. yeah, the ultimatum thing sucks, but i've had chances before that didn't seem to work out. i understand her frustration, and i'm prepared to do what i can to make our marriage work. she is not perfect, nor does she claim to be, but maybe by my willingness to address my issues, she will consider hers.
the beer will go to my dad on our next pizza night. i'm an only child, and my parents will have no problem supporting anything that i want, or think i need to do, including this.
well, i guess just like anything, when you have an open forum of like minded individuals, one tends to open up more. and, i guess the more i open up, the worse my story sounds.
i'm sure i could slide a lot further down the slide before i hit a bottom, but i don't want to. now's my chance, with support, to change my life, at least today and hopefully tomorrow.
i'm signing off for the evening. day one over. good luck to all and thanks for the advice. i look forward to more.