Thanks everyone -- thoughtful replies as always. I think I got a little uncentered
over the weekend! I know his mom means well, but sometimes her input comes off as if she thinks this separation is a spat that we'll get through when I calm down, haha. She's not deliberately trying to manipulate me, but I do always have to remember that she is the ultimate Giving Mom, and she has, in my opinion, some codie issues of her own. She always takes all the stress in the family onto herself and doesn't share. I never would have seen it this way before, but now when she talks about not telling her husband about things that might upset him I see it in a new way, and see how I took a similar approach to my own relationships. I was always willing to bear all the burdens -- yuck. I will keep in mind m1k3's good words and ask myself how something will aid in my own recovery. Even if ExAH IS doing well, it would be a slip up on my part to let his recovery upset my own. Looks like part of me still wants to control!