I have no doubt that I will go thru the next 4 days and it will be harsh. This will pass, but unfortunately for me it is replaced by emptiness. My isms are the problem here, it is not the alcohol.
I used to be a very ambitious child and would stay awake all night before a football match worrying and stressing about my performance. This is not normal. I used to birdwatch and could name every species of bird that lived in the garden and beyond. I was an expert at it.
But it was a warped hobby. Looking back on it I envied their freedom. I have a mountain to climb. I am stuck.