welcome Justlizzyd.. you've come to a good place and there's lots of support here.
I can relate with the antidepressant thing. I've made a decision to stop mine simply b/c I realized i was taking them to deal with the excessive craziness in my life. Its cheaper and less side effects to get rid of the crazies!
I agree it doesn't sound like your husband is ready to quit. I felt like my partner was having an affair with drugs. There was always this extra thing hanging around the sidelines that mucked up our relationship. I don't like her "addict" personality either. she's in rehab now and I sincerely hope she stays in recovery b/c frankly I wont go back to the loneliness and misery of living with an active A ever again.
Alanon and Nar anon really helped me out a lot, especially in the beginning when I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay or go. I too am financially independent so giving the boot would only be an emotional loss. I do suggest you check out a meeting if you haven't already.
welcome and keep reading/posting!