Originally Posted by
Sloane 
I want to start today but I am so afraid of another five day sober stint, where I start to drink again just to act "normal" at work and home. And benzodiazepine addiction just complicates matters, at least in my mind. These may sound like excuses to many, and I hope to look back and think they were, but they are so real to me right now.
Sloane
That 5 day stint is pretty much the problem. You'll go 5 days and it'll be hell, you'll drink and then try to go through another 5 days of hell. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
If you want to get to a different place you have to go through 5 days of hell. And then another 7 days of hell. And then another 7 days of hell. And then maybe it'll start to get better. And after a month it'll get better.
Eventually you'll get to a much better state of mind where you'll look back and wonder how you ever thought that drunk you was ever more fun, patient, or happy.
But you have to put it in your mind that if you want to see the difference it's going to take being sober for a while. Maybe you don't have to commit to never drinking again, just long enough to see the difference.
Anyway that was my experience.