Sloane,
I understand what you are saying. But consider this.
You only have one chance to model coping behavior for your children. Whether or not you think you are doing it, you ARE in fact modeling a coping behavior for your children than involves reaching for a substance instead of developing an inner strength and resilience to cope with what life brings our way.
For whatever reason, if you haven't developed those life skills yourself, this is the time to do that, before your children model your present behavior and become alcoholics themselves.
What children live and observe becomes the "normal" for them. Be careful. Children are far more observant than you realize.
Get some help for yourself. This is a time of your children's and your life that can be rich and full, and the way we deal with life's challenges will be ingrained in our children for generations to come. Likelier than not, you did not have that benefit from your own parents. But you can give that gift to your children now.
FT