BeProavtive, just like you are not responsible for his drinking you are not responsible for his recovery or anything else in his life. It took me a really long time to learn that lesson.
What I have found that works for me is Al-Anon. I have found the tools and support I needed in those rooms. I am in a much better place now. I still get bouts of self-pity and guilt but now they are more like speed bumps not mountains.
I have also found that reading and posting here is very useful for me on keeping my focus on my recovery.
((((hugs))))
Your friend,