I remember feeling similar, that I was a good patient parent while buzzed and woozy on beer or wine. I'm sure I had many precious and lovely moments with my children during those times but unfortunately I don't remember them. Alcohol stole my memories and numbed my love for others.
As a sober parent I know for a fact that I love my children with my whole heart and that they're happy that they chose me to be theirs. I am so thankful to wake up every morning with my memories in tact. I am so grateful that I made the choice to be sober while they're still young.