I'm not a mom but I used to be lots of fun as a drunk guy when my kids were young. So I thought. But as the years passed it evolved into something different. Moody, absent-minded, distant. The goofy happy parts become shorter and shorter and eventually they don't surface at all most nights.
And you think you're more patient and fun when sober but I discovered that I'm actually more patient and more even-keeled these days. My kids respond better to me and the whole environment in the house is more relaxed and happier.
Perhaps if you gave extended sobriety a chance you'd see what I mean. Occasionally the kids are still going to drive you crazy but you'll have a much more coherent understanding of what's going on and you'll be better prepared to deal with those situations.
At least that's what I'm discovering. Good luck in any case. Being a parent can be hard sometimes.