Hi. Really great posts, terrific topic. Hope it's OK for a dad to chime in.
I understand where you guys are coming from, but can I ask if you're saying this after having had an extended period of contented recovery? Or are you talking about being impatient with your kids during periods of abstinence in between bouts of drinking?
I ask because I think it's pretty common for alcoholics—male or female, parent or not—to be less patient and more inward-focused when they're sober. And many become more gregarious and generous when they're drinking. I could be moody during the day, but I really loosened up after work and on weekends. When I was out with friends, I felt like I was the life of the party. And at home I patted myself on the back for being a super fun, laid back dad.
But here's the deal: I was so "laid back" that I couldn't drive my daughter to the emergency room if something happened. I was not the life of the party, either. That's just crap I told myself because I was an alcoholic, and alcoholics tell themselves all kinds of BS to justify drinking.
I've heard a lot of people talk about their parents' drinking, but I've never heard anyone say they were sorry a parent stopped.
I took my daughter to the Y to go swimming today. We got there at 3, and we were still in the pool at 6, laughing, splashing around, having a great time. This time last year, I would have pulled her out of there by 4 so I could have my first drink of the long holiday weekend.
I'm still not the life of the party, but I'm definitely a lot more enjoyable to be around in the morning. And the best part is I'm going to remember every minute of these last few days of my daughter's seventh summer.
