As a mom of three, I agree with you... and your post also makes me feel sad. Because I've been there so many times. I have so little patience with my kids when I'm sober... it just kills me. It breaks my heart. When I'm drinking though, I'm fun. I'm impulsive. I do all the things my kids love. I completely understand what you're saying.
I have a memory of my son at age 5 telling me "Mommy, you're nice when you drink beer". That really made me feel like crap. It makes me want to cry just remembering it.
Unfortunately, I don't have much good advice for you, since I'm still drinking. I just know that I really, really want to stop. I have so much guilt. I'm missing things.
Good luck to you!