It still puzzles me what works for one and not for other but I think that you have to really want to stop drinking, deep down.
It is something that you know, I feel that you haven't got there yet.
Rereading this last sentence, I am thinking perhaps it is not useful to send it. But I think it is important to be honest with ourselves, if you really want to be sober then you have to want it above all else as if your life depends on it, it does.
I follow the AA program and you can't be half hearted about it if you want to recover.
I wish you the best I hope you find the strength to do what you need to do. I believe you do know what to do.
CaiHong