Hi Sloane,
I understand how it might feel that way. I probably was more fun and attentive at times while I was drinking. I was definitely more relaxed about everything, but that's not what motherhood is about. It's about being strong and PRESENT for your children. When something bad happens, they look to the most important person in their life: their mother to handle it. I could never handle situations when I was drinking. I missed a lot of "sick in the night" and "bloody nose" nights because I was passed out. One of the last times I got drunk about 3 months ago only my 8-year-old son and I were here. In the morning he came into my room where I was ridiculously hung over and he said to me, "Do you even remember last night?" I don't know how he meant that, but apparently he had tried to wake me up because he had a bloody nose. In my drunken stupor (which I still don't remember) I told him that I would be right there and then never showed. He took care of it himself.
Even though at times I was a cool, fun mom while drinking, my son definitely noticed something was different. He would look at me differently, like he was judging what mood I was in (and I never did or said anything bad to him while drinking). He just knew that I wasn't "me" and was a little more careful around me.
I might not be as patient sometimes now, but like Anna said, I'm here. I'm capable. And you can always work on being more patient too when sober.
I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing. It's just that even though I was a functioning alcoholic, I missed out on so many important things for the majority of my son's life. Just please be aware that your child knows something is different. They always do, even if they can't voice it.