Sloane- Thanks for posting.
I am an alcoholic in recovery and I relate to your story to an extent. I too thought that I was more attentive and tolerant when intoxicated but that is the disease talking IMO. What if there was an emergency with your child? Your daughter deserves a sober mom and you deserve to be sober. I not judging you and I hope you do not take it that way but would you trust a babysitter or a family member with her if they were intoxicated?
Granted, I was/ still can be easily agitated being a sober mom but I am a better mom. I am learning everyday how to control my emotions and be a better mom. Best wishes to you.