Originally Posted by
breakingglass 
no, i feel more like you all should stop psychoanalyzing your family and freinds because of YOUR choices. you are reading WAY more into this then i intended to express. i simply think that maybe these support groups teach you to disconnect not only to your A significant but to everyone in your life and analyze them like they were all nuts or something! i dont want any group (cult, whatever you choose to call it) to push me away from my loved ones. they are my strongest support group...not some bunch of stangers who think they know me.
now go ahead, psychoanalyze me....i know you want to!
I think it's great that you have healthy and supportive family.
Unfortunately, I and many others are not so lucky. My choice to marry an alcoholic didn't just happen randomly. My father was an alcoholic and compulsive gambler. I learned how to be a good codependent from my mother, aunt, and grandmother, who were all married to alcoholics. The fact that I grew up thinking dysfunction was normal life led me to repeat the same dysfunction in my own adult life.
Because I recognize it now, I am able to follow a different path and set different examples for my children. I see that as a positive, not a negative. And yes, I do avoid dysfunctional situations and interactions with my FOO on a regular basis. This is my life after all, and I do have the right to choose how I spend it.
And FWIW, I never went to Alanon meetings, so there was no "cult" involved in my recovery, lol. Once again--my life, my doing what works best for me.
L