Thank you to both of you for your blunt honesty,the things you have said to me are exactly what I have told him,he just is really good at pulling me back in with his tears and the "show" he puts on when I tell him Im at my wits end with this...Im just so used to being able to believe the person that I fell in love with,that was one of the reasons that I fell in love with him in the first place he was so open, honest loving and trustworthy..Im letting myself be fooled by his addict. it is just so weird and confusing,its like someone flipped a switch on him and he is the opposite of who he was when sober...I see glympses of that person when he sobers up a bit and I cant help but want to be there when he comes back,that is if he ever does. I need to come to terms with never getting that person back or maybe at best only getting him back for short periods of time. But then the weak or hopefull person in me wants to believe that he can get it together and we can live happily ever after...I cant imagine giving up on or letting go of my best friend but it seems I need to put some SERIOUS thought into it. Thank you again,your help and input is so much appreciated.