Hi Cag,
Glad you found us here at SoberRecovery. This is a wonderful forum and you will definitely get the support you need and learn a lot from the people here.
As for your ex BF - it seems like he does want to get clean, but as outtolunch said, "No one just snaps out of addiction. This will likely be his life long battle..." If he really is going to therapy, going to AA meetings, seeking guidance from his sponsor, then he is on the right path. But that doesn't mean he won't fall off of the wagon again (as he already has done several times). Addiction is an extremely powerful disease, and he will have to fight his addiction for the rest of his life. Hopefully he will find a program that works for him and will stick with it, but don't expect anything from him. Expectations are just wasted energy, because when our expectations don't get met, it causes us even more emotional pain.
The best thing that you can do for both of you is to not be involved in his recovery at all. This way he can focus solely on his recovery and you can focus solely on yours. He needs to do this for HIMSELF, not because he wants you back in his life. And you should do this for YOURSELF, not because you want to support him. You can support him by letting him go, allowing him to make his own choices, and to suffer his own consequences.
If he calls you for support, tell him to call his sponsor or to go to a meeting. And if that is too difficult for you to do, just don't answer the phone. And in the meantime, look for al-anon and nar-anon meetings in your area, and if you find one nearby, give it a try. Going to meetings gets me through each week - I find the peace and strength I need from meetings as do many others.
There are also al-anon meetings online each day at
www.stepchat.com - I attend one every day, and they are wonderful.
Also, here is a link to great article on setting boundaries and consequences -
Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self Since I read this article, I have been able to set several boundaries with my addict and to follow through with them as well.
Good luck to you, and if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.