It was an unspeakable loss, and I probably would have reacted the same way. I'm so sorry for what you've been through.
Imagine how your husband and daughter would feel if they knew you were so devastated by what happened that you couldn't recover. They wouldn't want to see you suffering & struggling to make it through the rest of your life. They would want you to enjoy what you have left, even though you have scars. Life can never be the same, but it can still be good - just different from what you thought it would be.
Thank you for sharing that personal story with us - maybe it will help unburden you a little. Drinking is keeping you from having joy and hope in your life, but I know you can get it back.