BF in Recovery
Hi all,I have been with my (now ex) BF for 4 years.On our first date he told me he was a recovering heroin addict and had over 3 years clean,I should have run the other way but I wanted to be open,he was a drug counselor at the time and has been very active in AA. Long story short I caught him using about 3 months ago,and he admited he had been using for about a month.since he has gone to detox and outpatient but later admited it was only to get people off his back so he could continue to use. We broke up and he soon checked himself into inpatient. He seemed as though he was emotionally and mentally ready to get his life back, lots of tears and "i want this so bad". He got out of treatment about 3 weeks ago and a few days later had a beer because "he could not sleep",he is not even a alcohol drinker so I have no idea why he chose to relapse on that,the next week he used crack for two days and had almost two weeks clean and tried to use heroin three nights ago but was unable to hit a vein..he called his AA sponsor to confess then called me to do the same.He swears up and down that this is not the life that he wants,he is in therapy,on subutex,going to AA meetings daily and waiting to hear from another inpatient facility.I really want to believe that he wants to be clean,he is so emotional about it,cries alot and carries so much gulit when he relapses. I dont know what the right way to support him is though,I finally told him after his heroin attempt that I have to wash my hand of it,its too much of a rollercoaster,I can be his friend and rejoice his successes but will no longer be consumed by it (yet here I am joining a forun about it!) Any suggestions on how to be supportive but not very involved,im having a hard time determining good boundries.I am aware that I need to work on codependance that I have...Is it ok to celebrate victories such as when he has 1 week clean we can spend time together then again when he has 2 weeks etc....thanks for listening!!