This has been my life for Many years............Constant Anxiety/Tention.I have tried everything under the Sun to control it.........Somethings used to work one time,now they dont.I have to face the Fears or Anxieties everyday........Raw.
I used Tranqualisers/Alcohol for years until they stopped working.
The Panic Attacks are the worst...........I would not mind if they came when I could do something safely about them,but they dont.They come when I least expect them.
The most time I get scared of PA is when driving,on strange roads,Duel Carriageways,heights.
I have overcome the Social Anxiety..........I dont mind Crowds or confined spaces anymore........Ohh I have made great Progress......but I get Impatient.
I need loads of patience.......and let more time pass.
These are some of the Things that I use/used over the years,Push my Feet into the ground,tense my neck for a minute,Deliberately listen out,Relaxation CDs,Tapping,Paradoxical Intention..ie .....call on it to get worse,Put a warm cloth over my eyes for a minute,Pray.
The reilef only last so long .
A couple of years ago I went to an ACA meeting...........and as soon as I heard the laundry list.........i knew that the Character Traits were what was causing my Anxiety.
I am not myself as most people are,I am co dependent,I depend on others to validate who I am.
This false me took me over years ago to help me survive trama in my childhood.
The only problem is the false me numbed my feelings,and then I added to this , with years of addiction to Drink and Drugs to help me cope.These eventually stopped working..ie........I then was left with no crutch.
So today Im working the ACA program to the best of my ability.
This false self is called all sorts of names,Beast, Monster,Pain body,Critical Parent,Abuser,I could go on.
To me its a very intelligent Been that I created,only problem is[ it] knows all that I know and uses the Information to keep me protected and stuck in this circle of Anxiety.
I have to over time to convence it by remembering the original feelings that it numbed....that now its safe to express them ,even the feelings from the past that were not grieved openly.
Peace is what I yearn for.....it will come.