There's a lot of opportunities I have missed and a lot of people I allowed myself to lose touch with during my time with XABF. I have reconnected with most of those people, and still it's frustrating to realize that I allowed myself to put his self-imposed crisis above so many of the things that should matter in life.
In High School I had a very close group of friends, and my best friend among them got married while I was with XABF. I was to be a bridesmaid, and yet I didn't even go to the wedding because XABF was putting up too much of a fuss and making it difficult to go. (Purchasing tickets to things the weekend of the wedding and all the days available to try on the bridesmaids dresses, complaining about how he didn't get sent an invitation - heck, I didn't get sent an invitation - and about how I'd be in the wedding party so he'd have to talk to my parents and didn't I realize he could not be in the same room as them, etc, etc...)
I am friends with this friend once again, and she has forgiven me, and we are so grateful to be back in each other's lives... And still, going to her wedding is an experience I will never have a chance to do again (I hope, anyway!), so there are experiences lost even still.
And yet this summer another High School friend of mine got married, and I was at her wedding, as were most of my group of friends from high school, and we were inseparable the entire time (excluding the bride, as her attention was pulled in all directions - but she spent most of it with us *Grins*).
I am learning that missed opportunities do come around again. They may have a different shape, a different color, but it's another opportunity to grow myself and grow my relationship with those I care about, nonetheless. If I spend all my time mourning missed opportunities, I'll keep missing the new chances that appear in my life.
