Hey Hayfrm, I'm at the end of my rope with my husband too. Believe me I get it. I stuck around for a long time after my husband had a couple of heart attacks. He went on dissability and things in our relationship got even worse. Being together 24/7 pushed me to the end of my rope with him. We've been married 28 years. When it's gone downhill for that long there isn't anything left there. I'm at the point that I told my husband that wether he's sober or drunk he's leaving in 1 year. That gives him enough time to make plans and gives me time to get finances in order. I still don't think he gets it.
Your wife needs to deal with her alcoholism and her mental illness. It takes a long time for those meds to work and they might have to switch her to different ones until something works. I don't see how it's possible to get her meds right if she's drinking. I have 1 glass of wine and I'm done. Mixing meds with alcohol is dangerous. If she does quit drinking she still needs to take responsibility for her illness. Dealing with her bp is her job not yours.
Your situation at home isn't going to change for a long time. It won't change at all if she doesn't give up the alcohol. I'm 54 and I figure I've got a good 20 years of quality life ahead of me and I don't want to spend those years just surviving.