musicman - I've felt that way so many times. It took me quite awhile to stop grieving over what I'd lost, but I knew until I did I wouldn't be able to heal.
We really do have to learn to live again in a different way. Participating in life with eyes wide open & clearheaded is a bit shocking. It's obvious from the way you explained your feelings that you're healing and growing, though. So glad you shared those thoughts - thank you.