Wow that is really scarey for me to read "I broke my cleanse" so you don't believe you are an alcoholic?
The part that scares me is there are so many people in jail or even worse yet in the grave who kept trying to prove they could drink like normal people. There is a lot written in the big Book about it to.
It says "it is the great obssession of every abnormal drinker to prove they can drink like normal people" and at the end it says, many have searched to the gates of insanity or death.
I have no idea if you are alcoholic, and its not up to me to say if you are but, I do know that if you are and you continue as you are, no good can come from it.