Thread: Day 4 had first AA
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Old 08-20-2011, 09:22 PM
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Mattcake
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Originally Posted by quickbeam View Post
I really wanna make it to next weeks meeting without a relapse. Im gonna be posting and reading here everyday.
You will Just focus on the now, though, and let next week take care of itself.

Re: paranoia, I can really relate to your experience. I harboured a lot of shame back when I was I was in the closet (I'm gay). Back then, I was convinced that total strangers were scrutinizing me. It was very unnerving, I couldn't even walk down a street without feeling that I was being watched and judged.

Turns out that I was the one who was judging myself mercilessly, carting a tonne of shame wherever I went. When I realised this and began practicing self-acceptance and other stuff, the shame lessened considerably and the paranoia stopped dead on its tracks. Like you said, drinking made it much worse, again, the Shame.

So it *usually* happens when you project your own repressed feelings on other people. This may not be your case, but it won't hurt to ask yourself what you're really feeling, deep down, and pay attention to the answer

It's good to know that your first AA meeting went well
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