Ok. I'm back from the court house. I think I will share this process so that others who may be considering it may be able to gleen some useful bits of information.
I filed early this morning so my initial court appearance was scheduled for this afternoon. It was done in a small but open courtroom setting and there were several other people in the room as well. Two ladies went up in front of the judge first. Both of them had situations where implied and threatening behavior had occurred by the parties they were filing against--both were denied temporary protective orders!! I thought "well if theirs were denied, mine certainly will be" since there have been no specific threats of physical violence from my axh.
I was called up. Sworn in and the judge stated that she had read my filed report and asked me to explain it further which I did. I told my truth clearly and consisely and did not embellish. She said that because of the length of time that we had been divorced, the fact that our son is 30 and there is no logical reason for axh to be contacting me, and the unusual and unnecessary purpose of his calls (just to harass me), she granted the temporary order of antiharassment protection.
It is now my responsibility to get the document served on him before the actual court appearance in two weeks. Xah will have the right to state his case and I will have the opportunity to state my case and play the tape recorded messages. The difficult part now is to get the papers served but I have some advocates with the police department who will hopefully help me get the documents to him. I do not know exactly where he lives but I do have his telephone number. They may be able to get his address from the cellular telephone company records or from welfare.
I feel that I am taking the appropriate legal action to prevent him from ever contacting me again. It is empowering.....and long overdue.
I hope that sharing my experience will help someone out there who doesn't know how to "make it stop". There is a way to do it through legal channels. My temporary antiharassement protection order (which should become permanent in two weeks) states that he cannot contact me in any way, "by email, text, telephone, directly, indirectly or through a third party" and cannot come within 500 feet of my home or business locations. This will also prevent his sister from contacting me (I hope).
This is a humbling, somewhat humiliating process, but I'm glad that I have the courage to do it.
Thank you all for your kind words of support. I'm doing ok. I don't feel like a victim. I feel that I have the serenity to accept that things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can......and finally.....the wisdom to know the difference!
gentle hugs to you all
ke