New here!
My name is Katelynne, I prefer Kate. I'm looking for help for my addiction (quite obviously) it is getting out of hand. I just turned nineteen years old & I've been heavily addicted to Xanax for over a year now. At first I started taking two at a time to make myself pass out, then eight would do the job. We're talking 1mg here. Now I can't even feel effects from it unless I take 18/22 at a time.
Background: Last year my mother brother her hip. I wanted to be numb so I relied on an Xanax I could find. Both of my parents are prescribed them. I steal them from then & they are getting suspicious of me abusing the Xanax. My mom will give me one or two at a time to calm me down but that makes me want more; so I steal more to numb myself. I have Social Anxiety. Some more Mental Health issues, I'm positive. Xanax numbs me. I love it but I hate it so much. I can't even remember what I did yesterday. I'm hurting my mother because she needs them and I'm only taking them because I'm scared of withdrawal.
When she runs out, I run out. Every month I go through laying in bed, sick. I can't move & I feel as if I am in another world. Xanax has become the love of my life but I need to let it go. As I write this now - I am high on 24 1mg Xanax. I want to go to rehab and fix this but I have no insurance. Please, please give me recommendations on what I should do. Should I admit my addiction to my parents? Should I look into rehab without insurance? We're on fixed income, we could never afford it. Are there other options.
In January & February, I almost fell into a heavy Meth addiction as well. I realized I didn't need two addictions and dropped that as soon as possible. Now to just drop Xanax. . .
I need help before I die. Thank you so much.
All I can say is why did this happen to me. We all share the same pain, that's why I'm here. For support.