Welcome to SR!!! I abused alcohol then opiates, lost a career and still had a lot of denial going on. I then discovered crack, which took me to my bottom. Not everyone changes around DOCs (drugs of choice) but most of us do have a point where we question if we're "really that bad?"
That's where SR has been a big help to me, reading other people's stories, finding the similarities despite what the DOC is helped me break through my denial.
I also advise you to see a dr. and be honest about how much you drink. Everyone's bodies are different, in how they deal with withdrawal and it can be fatal. I was a nurse, trust me..dr's have heard it all and they can't help you if you're not honest.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
There is a lot of f2f support out there, and maybe going back to that meeting might help?