All I can add is I detached for MY benefit, not his. He is your husband so detaching may mean something different for you, only you know what aspects of the relationship you can detach from and when you are ready too.
It is ok to be stressed and worried. He is your husband and he has a serious problem. Detachment is about coping, it isn't a miracle cure for stress. Living with an alcoholic would be stressful.
Al anon is a great first step because it focuses on you and how you are handling this.