Wellwhatnow- you are absolutely correct. I do not have boundaries set in this case, so if I ask, it would only make me angry. I guess, I want the vodka drinking to be a boundary that he sets himself. I already pretty much know the answer and hearing the answer from him is not going to change what he does. I'll just be aggravated. Thank you for your answer. It really helps clear things up for me.
You have all pretty much reaffirmed what I already know, but I just needed a reminder. I am open to going, but I have two young children and it is not always easy for me to get away. Also, looking at the meetings list, there are not any that fit my needs close by (again, with two young kids, I can't travel too far). I did see that there are meetings that are conducted via internet. Has anyone tried the online Alanon meetings?