I think it's hard to say one way or another what's right/wrong in choosing this/that for this/that kid. The thing that sucks is arguing constantly about everything. I live it daily. I also have a son with an alcoholicbf and always feel so threatened about losing him because I feel like he and his mom would lie. BUT, I know who I am and can't live with the consequences of staying w/ him anymore. They are too painful and it is too emotional for me and my son. So I am leaving.
Listen to your head, not your heart in this situation.