Welcome back Kitty - I missed you and missed your #@$$! gestures. LOL
Isn't it amazing when we look back in our diaries/journals and read how it was. Mine, like yours, just sounded like one big rerun after another, over and over, until I finally GOT it. When I think I am struggling now, I just read about how bad it was then, and I know I have come a long long way.
Glad you're home.