An alcoholics mind jumps all over the place, while activily drinking and in early recovery.
However, he was clear, he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. I would believe him, his actions spoke for themselves.
He is in no condition to have an intimate relationship with anyone, let go, don't obsess, it will not change a thing.
His recovery is his business, his issue to resolve, to me, every alcoholic is in fact a bullet to dodge, as alcoholics take hostages, there is no chance for a healthy, rewarding relationship with an active drinker.
I am sorry that you are in pain, however, as you may not see it today, he actually has done you a big favor.
Have you read "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie? If not, I would suggest that you take some time to read it.
Read around this forum and others on this board, it will help you to better understand this disease.
Again, I am so very sorry that you are having to deal with this, I've been there, it was, for me, a must miss.
Take care of you.