Originally Posted by
cc88 
This hits home and is very similar to my frustration. I think my family is making it easier on my addict brother, and I don't think they should.
problem is, I cant make any of them change (i.e. quit enabling him and believing the lies) any more than I can make my own brother quit using. They have to decide. From the little I've learned about this stuff, I think the idea is to focus on what you ARE able to control...
its a horrible feeling wanting to change someone else's behavior be they enabling family or the addict themselves, and it definitely sucks feeling both at the same time. I know, Im there now. I would encourage you NOT to let an addict OR your Mother "guilt" you into helping and enabling. do what's right for you...
Thanks so much!
It's all such a muddy situation now... before my sis had her kid, it was easy for me to say 100% my mom should let her sink or swim... I felt the only chance my sis had of recovering from her addictions and being long-term clean was if she was left to see what life was really like on her own...
But now, she has a child... that makes it hard... he's only 2 yrs old, so what is best now? If my mom stopped helping her, I worry for what would happen to her son...
I know she'd the only one who can fix this, but then where does that leave her child in the meantime? He's got a temperamental, mood-swinging mother who is addicted to crack, but who is functioning well enough that no-one has proof... only suspicions...
Wish we could hook her up to a fool proof lie detector... /sigh For now, I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm unkind for being so suspicious of what's going on with my sis....
Apparently my sis has been considering off and on whether or not to give up custody of her child to her ex... but my mom would fight like mad to prevent that I'm sure... I'm not even sure whether or not her son would be better off with her ex... this is so freaking messy...