Originally Posted by
UpSiDeDoWn 
It was about that time that I decided I would never go back to another alanon meeting. I don't need/want anyone in general public to know about this side of my life ..
What makes you think they don't already know? I'd be willing to bet a lot more people know or suspect than you realize. Secrets very seldom are secret.
If you don't change yourself then nothing changes. You can't change him so what's left. Leave, don't leave doesn't matter if you carry all the baggage you accumulated with him over the years with you.
Speaking from experience al-anon can be a life saver.