Thanks for sharing. I haven't really tried an ultimatum yet with my AW. Our daughter did... she threatened to move out if AW didn't stop drinking. AW didn't stop, and Daughter is still with us. I'm not sorry she stayed, but the ultimatum thing didn't work, and since it turned out to be a bluff, any future ultimatum from her is not likely to work, either.
That's one reason I haven't tried it yet. The only ultimatum I have in my hand, in my opinion, is to threaten divorce. Until I'm actually ready to follow through with it, I don't dare play it. If I thought it would work, I might risk the bluff, but I don't think she'll be able to stop drinking, even to keep me from divorcing her.
Good luck with your situation. I'm sure someone will be along shortly who has some good advice for you.