You can't change your family regardless of its quirks...but you can change you. One day at a time. Someone needs to make a change...someone needs to take the initiative.
I'm sorry your family is grieving your sister but I'm sure she'd want you to be stronger and progress in your sobriety and life.
I got my 6 month chip tonight...not bragging - just saying...it can be done. If anyone thought it couldn't be done and life would ultimately be lived in a bottle -it was me. Everyone is fighting a battle, challenging a crisis. Change has to come from within...not surrounding circumstances.
Wishing you peace and strength.